Integrity and Failure

By Douglas Ross

Thank you but we have selected another. It is nothing personal, it is business. You understand. I am sorry. Good luck.

I was devastated. It was another major rejection. Hope once again had succumbed to hopelessness.

Does integrity include failure?

Our competition was professional, confident and egotistical but lacking experience.  We had the process, the team and the experience but we lacked image. They looked like a company of wealth, fame and power. We looked like a company of  simplicity, integrity, and humility. They walked out in victory. We walked out in failure.

Everyone had an answer. No one could help me.

One team member explained that we failed because of presentation. “Learn to play the game” he said. “Think like a winner and look like a winner. Sell the sizzle, not the steak, and buy a new suit. You can sell anything with the right attitude and tools” he recommended.

Another team member explained that we failed because of my beliefs. “Integrity is idealistic and impractical. “  He said “The real world is about the bottom line –integrity costs money and business has no time for that. Drop integrity and win the contract” he recommended.

A friend explained I failed because of my choice to be an entrepreneur. “You could be retired like me, if you got a good job, paid attention to detail, minded your own business and said yes sir, no sir” he said. “You made too many waves, and now you are paying for it” he concluded.

Another friend explained that everything happens for a reason. “You have a major flaw in your business model” he concluded. “Find it and fix it” he recommended.

Regardless of their assessment and recommendations, the brutal facts were inescapable. Our company flounders, my family struggles financially and I was alone in our defeat.

I realized that I was alone in my personal situation but I know that I am not alone in failure, or in suffering. All people suffer to varying degrees in their lifetime. The defeats are different but the feeling is the same. The challenge then is to identify how to alleviate the suffering.

Integrity is wholeness, consistency and purity. But what does that mean? My failure helped me to understand its meaning. Integrity means doing the right thing without regard for consequences. When it turns wrong for you, integrity means doing the next right thing and doing it right. Let me explain.

I knew we were right for this contract –all the signs pointed to it. We met and exceeded all customer expectations. We were transparent and ethical. We did the right thing for the customer and for ourselves -it wasn’t exciting but it was right.

Our customer didn’t believe that what we offered was right for them. They made a choice. I respect their decision. We lost their confidence. I am responsible for that, not the decision.

Meanwhile, it still hurts when you lose so many times. You question yourself, your ability and your values. 

However, once you come home, you have to do the next right thing. Life, through duties and responsibilities, always presents calls for action. The garbage still needs to go out. The garbage does not care about the rightness and failure of my contract. It simply needs to go out to the curb.

Life is full of the next right things to do. The next right thing is what sustains you and carries you through trials and troubles. The call to the next right thing demonstrates that life is not over, and that there are many more things to do in each new day. 

You can heed the call to do the next right thing and carry the burden of yesterday’s defeat in your actions. However, that is not doing things right. The choice to let failure influence actions limits your ability to do the right thing.   

Doing things right means entering each new situation objectively and not linking what does not need to be linked.  Doing things right completes each moment.  Doing things right heals and invigorates us.

Doing the right thing, doing the next right thing and doing it right is the path of integrity. It may or may not bring fame, fortune and power but it does bring strength, peace, and happiness.

Will we change? Absolutely! First, we have a major flaw in our business model that needs to be corrected. Second, we failed our customer because we knew the consequences if the project was not done right.

We learned that when it comes to buying decisions, that the steak they eat is more important than the sizzle they see. It is our responsibility to bring this to the table. 

The path of integrity includes failure. It is a path of wholeness, consistency and objectivity. It involves doing the right thing, and then finding the next right thing and doing it right.  I can live with that.

Want to learn more? Go to our web site at Principle Dynamics Consulting    or call me. I want to speak to you about integrity and how it can help you and all of us.

Comments

[Robert Reil]

Doug:

I love it.. Sell the steak. Show them first why steak is better than sizzle. Give em some sales on that ideal first then show them the steak. Show them how when the sizzle goes out what do they have. Your steak is better and still delicious after sitting on the plate for days. Find an analogy and pitch it. You can sell this! You believe in the product you have. So that means you can sell it with passion! Oh... And buying a new suit may not be a bad idea either.

[Robert Reil]

Doug:

I love it.. Sell the steak. Show them first why steak is better than sizzle. Give em some sales on that ideal first then show them the steak. Show them how when the sizzle goes out what do they have. Your steak is better and still delicious after sitting on the plate for days. Find an analogy and pitch it. You can sell this! You believe in the product you have. So that means you can sell it with passion! Oh... And buying a new suit may not be a bad idea either.