By Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D
The challenge for many in their life
at work is simply this: how to be a business person and a human being at the
same time compete yet cooperate, be hard-nosed yet be ethical, keep ones nose
to the grindstone yet take time to see and acknowledge others, be professional
yet personal, make a profit yet not be greedy. You get the picture.
We don't have to look far to
discover folks whose life at work takes the low road. Business magazines,
journals, and news shows are replete with instances of individuals whose
workplace demeanor is described as rude, insensitive, disrespectful, unethical,
uncivil, egomaniacal and self-serving, greedy and dishonest. You might rub
elbows with one or more such folks on a daily basis. And, all this despite the
plethora of books, courses, seminars, workshops, policy and procedure manuals
and treatises focusing on ethics and codes of conduct.
On the other hand, there are those
whose lives at work are driven by their internal moral compass, a life at work
guided by principles that support one to behave decently, truthfully and in
integrity who take the high road even when they face major challenges, problems
and difficult choices.
What supports one to change lanes
and move from the low road to the high road is Li, and Confucius expounded
greatly on the nature and practice of Li.
Li, what is it?
Around 500 BCE, Confucius discussed
the notion of Li a spectrum of rites and rituals, i.e., a code of conduct, that
focused on such things as learning, tea drinking, how to dress, mourning,
governance, and interaction with humans. The underlying notion of Li was how to
be respectful of nature, and one another. The term Li has several meanings some
of which are: propriety, reverence, courtesy, ritual or the ideal standard of
conduct.
Li is what the sage uses to find
that which is appropriate; it is both the means which sets the example for
others, and the end which maximizes understanding, pleasure, and the greater
good. In this way, the words and behaviors one uses to show respect for another
are contained within the framework of Li.
As the practice of Li was continued
through centuries, one central theme began to stand out the natural tendency to
be decent and kind towards ones fellow human beings.
Confucius believed that Li was the
source of right action in all behavior that living life from a place of respect
for all others was at the heart of living a harmonious and worthwhile life.
Li, however, does not come to ones
consciousness naturally. Li has to be cultivated. One must first learn and then
practice the art of being in integrity, respecting the dignity of every human
being and then become committed to, and disciplined in, the practice of Li.
Li in the workplace
The practice of Li runs the gamut
from smiling at a co-worker, to holding a door open for another, to serving
others, to being self-responsible, to questioning practices that are unethical,
corrupt, and disrespectful or demeaning of others each behavior having a
conscious focus and intentionality on working toward and supporting the
well-being of the workplace, and those who work there.
The challenge in todays workplace is
that the practice of Li is a practice that is, for many, one of fakeness,
phoniness, and convenience where more often than not, rudeness and selfishness
become the guiding principles where one is ego-driven and not cognizant of
others around him or her interrupting others at meetings, speaking over others,
one-upping others, hijacking others experiences, needing to be the first one on
and off the elevator, not holding a door for another, not saying please and
thank you, and speaking ill of, or gossiping about, others. In fact, the
opposite of Li is me i.e., rudeness, insensitivity, verbal abuse such as
bullying, gossiping, and being disrespectful, and treating others as
irrelevant.
Cultivating Li
The way to cultivate and practice Li
at work begins with becoming conscious asking ones self, How am I behaving
right here, right now? Am I taking an opportunity to allow my natural tendency
to be decent, good and kind to arise? How am I showing up? "Am I being
authentic"?
Li is not syrupy stuff. It's not
fluff. Its not being effusive. Its not being fake or phony. Its not being
patronizing. Li is being natural, honest, sincere, self-responsible and relaxed
when we interact with another, any other.
Practicing Li does not mean we stop
being firm and assertive, stop holding others accountable, stop telling the
truth, stop telling the bad news, etc. Practicing Li allows us to come from a
place of internal truth and integrity that supports us to be forthright,
confident, courageous, and trusting that we will show up in a way that is
respectful, decent and just be who we are right here and right now without the
edge that we might heretofore have used to shore ourselves up.
Confucius believed that in order to
truly achieve the principles of Li, the character of the true person, one must
look within oneself. Confucius tells us to go inside in a sense, when he says,
We know what is proper (li), especially in difficult situations, from the
wisdom arising out of contemplation. regularly going into self-reflection,
inner listening, and sensing our gut, to access our inner wisdom that leads us
to right knowing, right understanding and right action.
Cultivating the practice of Li
supports us to live our life at work from a place of self-responsibility,
honesty, decency, integrity, strength, courage, and humaneness even when we
feel it might be inconvenient. Each of us is born with Li. Over time, however,
we have lost our sense of Li as we allowed (often unconsciously) life get in
the way of being our True and Real self. Over time, our Li morphed into fake
personalities, fake persona's, and masks. So, many of us became poseurs. In the
process, we learned to navigate life, even life at work, with our eyes wide
closed - reactive, fearful, and resistant losing our humanity and decency.
Li supports us to live life, even
life at work, with our eyes wide open.
So, some questions for
self-reflection are:
·Do resentment or greed drive your
interactions with others?
·How might you experience fear in your workplace? How do you act when you feel
fearful?
·Do you ever lie or stretch the truth?
·Do you feel white lies are OK? Do you ever lie, cheat, or steal simply because
its convenient...because you can?
·Are there others you admire because of their integrity, sincerity and
authenticity?
·Does you organization have a code of ethical conduct. Do you follow it? Do
others?
·What one or two things can you do to cultivate and practice Li at work?
·Do you keep agreements?
·Do you admit when you are wrong? Do you apologize for mis-deeds?
·Do you have a personal code of conduct? Do you follow it?
·Do you recognize the dignity in all others?
·Would folks at work (and at home and play) characterize you as a decent human
being? Would you characterize yourself as a decent human being?
·Do you ever react to others in a way that communicates to them they are
"irrelevant" or "irritants"?
| Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a
founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports
conscious living through coaching, counseling and facilitating. With a
practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit
- that is, Essential Well BE-ing - Peter's approach focuses on personal,
business, relational and spiritual coaching. He is a professional speaker and
published author. For more information contact: http://www.spiritheart.net, pvajda@spiritheart.net or phone
770.804.9125 |
The challenge in todays workplace is that the practice of Li is a practice that is, for many, one of fakeness, phoniness, and convenience where more often than not, rudeness and selfishness become the guiding principles where one is ego-driven and not cognizant of others around him or her interrupting others at meetings, speaking over others, one-upping others, hijacking others experiences, needing to be the first one on and off the elevator, not holding a door for another, not saying please and thank you, and speaking ill of, or gossiping about, others. In fact, the opposite of Li is me i.e., rudeness, insensitivity, verbal abuse such as bullying, gossiping, and being disrespectful, and treating others as irrelevant.
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Posted by: David hogard | November 10, 2009 at 04:18 AM